The Next Godsquad Storm

For chrissakes. Look, I thought "so be it" was the English translation of "amen."

Well, that's what I'm going to tell everyone when they start asking about it, because of this goddamned column.

Oh, Good God

The Jesus freaks sure are hard to please. But I have to say, waiting to come into the race officially has paid off: all the other assmonkeys have either disappointed the God squad or failed to become serious candidates.

Meanwhile, at least that article shows that my strategy is paying off: Richard Land, one of the leading Holy Rollers, balanced my half-in, half-out position on a gay marriage amendment by noting that I am super-committed to federalism, so I just couldn't come out in full support of a nationwide ban on gay marriage. The way we've been crafting it, "federalism" is my all-purpose get-out-of-having-a-full-position-free card. Expect to see it soon in a number of other issues.

Frederalism?

Someone commented on a blog and suggested the term "Frederalism." We're actually thinking about adopting it. So far, federalism is the only principle we have on our website, so we think branding it might make up for our lack of other ideas.

Just a thought.

Let's Hold Our Horses as They Trample Over the Bridges

My crack staff really knows what it's doing. Check out my statement against the calls for a small gas tax increase to raise moneys to rebuild the nation's crumbling infrastructure:

Whoa now. Let’s hold our horses a minute and think about the calls for new tax increases to fix our infrastructure problems. The Minneapolis bridge collapse is a tragedy, but we can’t let it be used to compound other problems – which is what will happen if we’re scared into raising gas taxes. . . .

The cause of our infrastructure troubles is not a lack of money; but the politics and bureaucracy that have built up around the funding process. Now, the people who have done their best to micromanage local infrastructure spending from their Washington D.C. offices are exploiting tragedy to further federalize our transportation system. Why don’t we let states determine which infrastructure problems are their priority? Are bridge repairs a priority in Arizona? Alaska? Hawaii? Maybe, but let’s let the people decide what needs fixing, when, and how they want to pay for it—taxes, bonds, or tolls, for example.

That's a real conservative two-fer: opposing tax increases and demanding less federal, more local control.

It's not just posturing: I really do believe we need more local control. Some folks say Texas, for example, sends more highway tax money to Washington than it gets back in highways and bridges. Some say that's the point: Texas benefits when folks outside of Texas are able to use the highways to go to Texas.

But I think local control means that if Texas doesn't want people to drive to Texas, it should be able to pull back its funds. If Texas wants to wall itself off with a whole Iron Curtain between it and, say, Arkansas, then good for Texas. Why should bureaucrats in Washington insist on having a nation connected by roads? How is that good for America?

I Have Principles

My team sure is excited about taking our website to the next stage. The I'm With Fred site is now all fancy-dancy, ready to move us forward when we drop this "testing the waters" pretense and just get down and dirty into the full campaign.
I'm really happy with the principles section, because it's my way of appealing to the really superconservative nuts in the party without staking any claims in any actual debates going on in the country. Like this video I have up about federalism:



It's just a perfect way of telling the far right crazies how dedicated I am to a small federal government, without making any commitments to what I think is an example of big government that I would cut. This way, I appeal to the nuts while I can keep charming the people who would be scared away if I talked about cutting the Department of Education or doing away with Social Security.

What do I stand for? Whatever you want.

God, we're good.

I Am So Articulate

I am really a slick politician. Check me out as I defend myself on the charges that I failed the conservative movement somehow when I didn't vote to take away the rights of the little guy to sue for justice.

I am a master. They threw "tort reform" at me; I threw "federalism" right back. There are enough conservative so-called principles that I can dodge and weave just about anything.

God I'm good. When they made me, they broke the mold and then ground up all the pieces.