I've Got Enough Sand in My Ass Right Now, Dubya

Oh lord. Now, I'm doing the best I can not to say anything outright on Iraq, and I think I'm pretty well holding it all together, but the idea that this dumbass in the White House might drag us into Iran -- I just don't know if it would be worth it to become president if I'll have to clean up that pile of dog mess on top of the cow turds he's already dropped all over the Oval Office carpet.

I want to sail into the White House and, frankly, I don't really want to do lots of things once I'm there -- I'd like to do as little as possible, thank you very much. If they send this country into Iran before I get crowned, well that would be like leaving the john without flushing even though you know there's a line of people waiting to use it after you.