This Is Going to Be a Cake Walk

You know, last night when I just sitting there on the john because I had a hard time peeing, I thought, "I wonder what people are going to make of my record." Because I went all the way out there and supported some real bullshit back when I was in the Senate.

But then I remembered: no one cares. Who the hell is going to dig up that crazy regulatory reform bill I cosponsored, if most people in this country don't even know what a regulation is? Honestly, if this is what passes for political coverage anymore, I've got nothing to worry about.

Note to self: don't change a thing with the public education system.