Chuckle... I've Got This Thing Sewn Up

All that time carefully cultivating my public persona in Hollywood has paid off: I make the ladies cream in their jeans. Miss Romney thought she would have this kind of appeal, but face facts: the soccer moms don't have wet dreams about guys with better hair than they have.

Note to self: maybe I should get some of my "grassroots" operatives to make some T-shirts that call me Big Stud Daddy, the Ultimate DILF, Former Senator Studly, Superschlong, something like that.

I am going to make a great president. Two terms -- and more, once we get that constitutional amendment passed. I'm going to be the new FDR. But without the cripple thing.