Rolling Around With the Pigs

I've been doing the campaign blah blah blah thing in Iowa. Yeah, that's me, holding pigs, pretending to be amazed at their stupid cow carved out of butter, trying to say, "No, thank you so much," every time someone tries to foist their fried crap.

Iowa is a taste of hell. Why is this the first place to go in the race for the nomination? Couldn't it be somewhere more fun, like Hawaii?

And the press was all over my ass while I pretended to be one of the real people over there:

Unlike Democrat Barack Obama, who a day earlier sought out state fairgoers, fried food and rides, Thompson raced through the jam-packed fair, stopping only to shake hands and chat with people who approached him. . . .

"Fred Thompson! Fred Thompson!" yelled a group of middle-aged fairgoers.

The TV star kept walking, until Grassley gently steered Thompson toward the group.

"Somebody likes you that much, we better go talk to them," Grassley told Thompson.

Christ, it gets harder and harder to keep up that man of the people act when you have to actually go out there and meet the people for real. It's so much easier to act the part on the small screen.