Indiana, Just Great

I'm in Indianapolis, the most boring place I've been since Iowa, to speak at -- what was it again? Midwest Leadership Conference. I can't say as I know of any real leadership going on in Indianapolis, but what the hell -- they've got money, I need money. So I'll do the keynote speech at their queer little conference and smile and slap them on the back and make them feel like real important parts of the process, and Jeri and I will have sex in a pile of checks they're going to write for me.

The only hard part is knowing that FOX "News" now has it out for me and is going to air video of any stumbles I make in my speech. Guess I'll actually have to read it before I get up on stage.