Our Plan Is Working Perfectly

I tell you, I have some excellent operatives who really know what they're doing. That story we planted about all my exes still loving me and stumping for me... that was pure gold.

First, it makes out to be this granddaddy of all studs. No one wants a pussy for president. So it's key that we sell me as someone who pounds the pussy.

Second, it makes everyone forget all about the cancer that's "in remission" if they're focused on this picture of me as a virile horndog who's so good the ladies keep slobbering after me long after we broke up.

Third, it's excellent free publicity. It's a quirky story that everyone wants to retell. And each time they do, it gets our message out there. (Message, image. Same thing.)