Saturday, June 9, 2007

They're Clamoring for Me

I've barely stuck my toe in the pond and everyone is already begging for me to swim laps around the other jokers. The polls show me already ahead of Miss Romney and dead even with McNuts. Plus I'm already eating into McNuts' base. Which means it's just a matter of time before I eat Limpiani for breakfast.

So clearly the question isn't if I should run over to the Ames straw poll and come in at the last minute to tromp Miss Romney. I already have tromped her. And she looks even worse as she plans to stay put in Ames, even though McNuts and Limpiani have pulled out.

See? George Will can ask all he wants if I am "a mind undisciplined by steady engagement with complexities" -- if he didn't learn from Reagan and Dubya that the people just don't care about that, then it's clearly lost on him why I'm already at the front of the pack without even officially declaring. This guy really gets it: "Lights, Camera, Ass-Kicking Time." That's what the people want, George. Now pull that baseball bat out of your ass and come aboard the Ready Freddy Express.


Anonymous said...

Hi Fred.

What compelled you to become a member of the CFR and the AEI? Was it the money? Or was it the power? Did they give you wonderfully exotic sexual favors?

Just curious to know how they work over there, because I may want some of that action for myself.

Thanks in advance for your anticipated response.

gopher said...

Maybe because that's what all the GOP status whores do.

landofan said...

Our man Fred doesn't need to prove anything to George Will. Hasn't Fred already shown time and time again in the movies that he has what it takes to be the leader of the free world?

Power of Perception said...

We really are clamoring for you, Fred! As long as you project the image of power, that's really all we need.

Sweet Surrender said...

I'm definitely clamoring. I've been clamoring a lot lately.

Fred doesn't need to prove anything to George Will. Our man Fred is a hunka hunka manmeat. Only Fred can wield the big sword of American might. Wield it, Fred! Oh, God, wield it now, wield it now!

diehard fan said...

anonymous, I have to agree with Sweet Surrender. Rest assured that if Fred Thompson received exotic sexual favors to join AEI and CFR, that it was as good for them as it was for him.

gopher, you should just bury yourself in a hole. Our man Fred is no status whore. He's too lazy to be a status whore, and that's a good thing, by the way, because it means he won't be trying to get Big Government all up in our ass, at least not without sufficient lubricant.

Don Jones said...

Well I am a 75 year old fart. I am having the time of my life building into the top Fred Spot there is. If anyone can drop by and see my front page. Especially my creation that will bring Google to your screen with only Fred Thompson news right up to the minute.
I'm getting ready to do the Ready Freddie Express Fred.
Don Jones

Don Jones said...

Oh one more thing. Punks and Assholes who know they are assholes usually write stuff anonymously

Maybe when you grow up you will grow some balls.

Don Jones